A half-century ago, almost to the minute as I type this, I raised my right hand and said:
"I, Bernhard William Behling, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."
It was a long six years that followed, filled with both joy and sadness, elation and horror. I am glad I did it though because I think it made me a better person than I would have been had I not. It was service that I am proud of.
Much respect.
I just celebrated 51 years yesterday, and today I found out that my best friend from those Navy years, committed suicide. :'(
Quote from: NT2C on July 31, 2025, 03:32:39 PMI just celebrated 51 years yesterday, and today I found out that my best friend from those Navy years, committed suicide. :'(
I'm so sorry to hear that, NT2C.
My condolences to all of y'all.
Damn. That's a punch in the gut, NT2C. So sorry for whoever that poor soul was, and sorry for you to have lost a connection to those special years in your past. The both of you served your country. Which is to say, you both stepped up and served us all. To you and your Navy buddy, we offer our eternal gratitude. There is a special place in Heaven for those who served - of that I'm sure. May he rest in peace, free from whatever demons tormented him.
Quote from: majorhavoc on July 31, 2025, 06:24:39 PMDamn. That's a punch in the gut, NT2C. So sorry for whoever that poor soul was, and sorry for you to have lost a connection to those special years in your past. The both of you served your country. Which is to say, you both stepped up and served us all. To you and your Navy buddy, we offer our eternal gratitude. There is a special place in Heaven for those who served - of that I'm sure. May he rest in peace, free from whatever demons tormented him.
He served 20+ years, made chief, and raised a family with his high school sweetheart that he married while on leave in 1974. She passed away 5 years ago, cancer. He killed himself soon after.
Having known her and the kind of person she was, and the deep love he had for her, I understand and accept that this is what he felt he had to do.
But it will haunt me for the remainder of my days... What if I hadn't been so against getting a Facebook account all these years? What if I'd joined years ago, before her death, and reconnected with him? Would my friendship have kept him alive? Would my training and experience as an EMT, often working with suicidal and emotionally disturbed people, have made a difference?
:'(
Quote from: NT2C on July 31, 2025, 08:45:39 PMHe served 20+ years, made chief, and raised a family with his high school sweetheart that he married while on leave in 1974. She passed away 5 years ago, cancer. He killed himself soon after.
Having known her and the kind of person she was, and the deep love he had for her, I understand and accept that this is what he felt he had to do.
But it will haunt me for the remainder of my days... What if I hadn't been so against getting a Facebook account all these years? What if I'd joined years ago, before her death, and reconnected with him? Would my friendship have kept him alive? Would my training and experience as an EMT, often working with suicidal and emotionally disturbed people, have made a difference?
:'(
You live long enough and many of us find ourselves in that position (I know I'm one) - left wondering if we had stuck around, stayed in touch, offered more support - it could have somehow made a difference to someone who takes their own life. Sounds like you know this all too well, but it's part of what makes suicide so God awful - it sends ripples that eventually touch almost everyone who ever played some role in that person's life. And leaves them wondering if maybe they had acted differently that person would still be around.
I'm not going to offer platitudes here, NT2C. I don't claim to have any great wisdom on this subject. But I have been there. People come into and out of our lives. Sometimes we stay in contact for a short time, a long time or maybe they become lifelong friends. Regardless, we're not forever responsible for every changing circumstance, path others choose to take or misfortune that befalls them at some point in the unknowable future.
Hindsight can be fucking cruel sometimes. But grant yourself the grace to accept that you're not responsible for what ultimately happens to everyone who crossed your path at some point in the past.